Waterproof Flexible Anal Beads

Okay, so this anal wand deal purports, according to its packaging, to be perfect for beginners. Well I'm definitely a beginner when it comes to shoving things up my poop chute, and it looked kinda daunting to me, with its good-size balls and approximately 4-inch length. But it is waterproof and flexible, and it vibrates, so at least I could try it in the shower, and if I slipped and got it rammed up there good, I'd have only a comfy tingliness to deal with. But none of that happened. I swear.