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PRODUCT REVIEW  

Universal Gates of Hell

Manufacturer: CalExotics (formerly California Exotic Novelties)

My career at AVN has had its share of humiliations and ego-crushing confirmations, those brought down upon me by the Universal Gates of Hell being the latest.  The Gates is a leather harness that fastens around the base of one's schlong, with a series of rings to go around the shaft.  The rings are of various sizes, so that men who use the device can accommodate it to their individual needs.

Confrontations with rings made to fit large to average to small dicks provide one of those surprisingly rare chances to measure one's personal equipment with absolute objectivity.  Now those baleful stares I've received throughout my life upon dropping my drawers make sense.  The giggles, the frustrated sighs.  Oh, well.  Good thing my girlfriend says size doesn't matter.


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