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PRODUCT REVIEW  

Strap-On Satisfier

Manufacturer: Nasstoys

Breaking in previously hetero-exclusive girlies can be a troublesome and daunting process. Number one on my list of breeder-girl limitations is their tedious inability to effectively drive a strap-on. They have no rhythm. They have no endurance. They kvetch and whine about how much work it is. My first response typically is to grab a handful of their hair and growl, "Yeah, it's a lot of fuckin' work, bitch. But so was getting your repressed white-bread ass in the sack, and right now you're wasting all my good work! Now fuck me!"

That doesn't always work, however. Many are the golden-tressed little princesses who have gone bounding from my room in a tizzy, pseudo-schvantz swinging to and fro from the waist. Now I have come to realize, as I've neared 30, that one does indeed catch more flies (and flygirls) with honey than with vinegar, and that more carrot and less stick almost always does the trick. That's where ingenious gadgets like the Strap-On Satisfier come into the picture. The Satisfier comes complete with "dual offset shafts," one for her and one for me, so that while she's laying the main bit o' business into my lower domain, her own clitty and puss get worked too. No more waiting for her to find a rhythm. She does what works for her and I get mine in the inverse. No more bitching about the labor —as she works toward her own orgasm, I go along for the ride. It's nice when technology brings people closer together.


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