Sport Massager

It was a sad day for Satch.  His buddy at AVN was moving on, and he wasn't going to be featured in any more hardware reviews.  No more goofy adventures with dildos, no more wacky escapades with butt plugs, no more madcap run-ins with cock rings.

The last toy Satch would play with was the Sport Massager, a hand-held massager with a flexible tip and five intercreation -- Hear that, Snatch?  You're imaginary!  So no need to threaten libel! -- Satch's muscles didn't get sore.  But he found the massager to be stimulating and soothing nonetheless.  As the wondrous device worked its magic on his back, his feet, his shoulders, etc., he felt himself melting away like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Just before he disappeared for good, for old times' sake and for one last, big thrill, Satch stuck the Sport Massager up his ass.  This is not recommended to any of our readers... but Snatch sure went out with a bang.