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Sergeant Stroker

Manufacturer: Pipedream Products

He's everything G.I. Joe dreamed of being, but his kung-fu grip is strictly reserved for his gun. Sarge is a hard plastic doll, and is fully dressed in camouflage gear, with the exception of a sizable package poking through the crotch area. Crank the handle growing out of his hip, and his hand moves up and down his standing-at-attention shaft —loudly— while his head wags in time. Both legs and his free arm are also movable, in case you have a moment of perversity and want to make him march.

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