Lil Willy's Penile Desensitizer

The label on Lil Willy's Penile Desensitizer warns against use on abrasions or rashes and recommends applying ten minutes prior to contact. Obviously this is a thinking man's masturbation aid requiring prior planning. It comes in vanilla, cherry, melon, passion fruit and strawberry scents, and the active ingredient, a 7.5 percent solution of benzocaine, should reduce tactile sensitivity, providing relief to serial strokers or amusement for the practical joker in every team's locker room, who surreptitiously soaks a teammate's jock strap.