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Captain Pecker

Manufacturer: Pipedream Products

As I labored to inflate the Captain Pecker inflatable punching penis to its full six-foot length (or is it height?), the running commentary I received from my wise-cracking co-workers spurred me on to finish the task as quickly as possible. Noting the rapidity with which I had brought the Captain to "erection," Gay & Bi video Editor Mickey Skee offered, "Not bad for a straight man who's never given a blow job in his life."

Indeed, there stood beside my desk a literally man-sized hard-on, made of plastic and rendered in that peach-toned politically incorrect Crayola color known for years as "flesh" (though I've never seen anything remotely approaching the size of this pugilistic pecker that could be classified as "Caucasian").

Judging by its popularity at the AVN offices, I'd recommend the toy for bachelor parties, birthdays, even bar mitzvahs —I would, however, be sowhat reluctant to have the Captain accompany me to a bris.

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